Thursday, May 28, 2009

Um....Didn't i used to have something here?

First i would like to apologize for my blog being neglected for so many days. I have been busy with mets baseball games, playing punch out, and generally just wasting my free time any which way i could come up with. That being said allow me to tell you about an event that will take place tomorrow morning.

Danilo, my son, will be getting fixed. First of all it shouldn't be called getting Fixed at all. Since they are actually removing something I'd like to suggest a new name for it. Danilo will be getting Dag Sliced. Now i've used this term for many other things but its much more appropriate in this arena so BOOM! Dag Sliced it is.

As i sit here i can't help but wonder what Danilo is going to think after he has his Man Items taken away from him. Will he think...."Man i'm hurtin. I feel like i'm missing something" or will he be thinking...."Sons of Bitches Drugged me and cut my items off!" Either way he's gotta know something is different tomorrow as he goes to lick something that's no longer available for cleansing.

Right now Danilo is Playing with his toys and watching some playoff basketball with me. Since he can't understand english (yet) i can't even let him know how tomorrow is going to be the worst day of his life. Instead he'll continue to carry on all evening playing with toys and attacking my feet until we wake up tomorrow and take a trip to the SPCA where he has to assume he is being punished for scratching my ankle or something. I read online that sometimes Kittens Personality's change when they have this procedure done. Yeah? No shit! In his little Kitten Brain he thinks punishment for waking a human up in the middle of the night is Having your balls snipped off.

I wonder if that kind of "punishment" would work for murderers and sex offenders. Commit a crime? Lose a body part. I'm starting to think that Alladin deserved to lose his hand when he stole that bread. He'd probably get a job then.

Good luck Danilo!

2 comments:

  1. I'm all about dismembering criminals. We could boil down the meat and feed the hungry and homeless. (did I take this too far?)
    Good luck to poor Danilo.

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  2. You should have called it a bag-slice.

    I am all for just killing people. Especially dumb people who over breed and are not useful to society. Wait did I go too far?

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