Dr. No

Daily Dag Slice: So as we get older our bodies begin to wear down. I see this type of thing happening to all my friends. Knees, shoulders, wrists, backs, Huge Lumps on legs that don't disappear for weeks after a 720 gone bad.

For me it's different. I'm a thin, flexible, in shape dude. Rarely do aches and pains attack for longer then a day or night at a time. You see, my problem is my Inner Organs. My Digestive system is about as reliable as having Billy Joel being your designated driver.

Saturday night i go with the boys to eat some pizza hut and check out the new wolverine flick. (wasn't a fan)
Lets be honest...Pizza Hut gives humans diarrhea. Its Science. So i was not alarmed at all when with 20 minutes left of X-men Origins i had to eliminate waste. Nothing was particularly alarming about my visit to the men's room in a Catskill movie theatre except that i almost passed out from the intense bathroom call (lots of sweat and toilet paper involved). Well i missed the end of the movie and went home still feeling a little under the weather. I then proceeded to have the real scare. I crapped blood. Yup pretty gross i know. This went on til the next day so i went to a clinic only to spend my Sunday feeling kinda weird after the doctor inserted an array of fingers deeply into my rectum. What did he say caused this episode of bleeding? You guessed it. My man had NO answers.

So today at 1:30 i have an appointment to see a Gastroenterologist. This is a dude who looks at my digestive system specifically. I'm hoping he tells me it was just a busted hemorrhoid in my ass but who knows. Anyway, one thing is certain..... I will most likely be feeling the cold finger of injustice once again thrusted up my backside. Dagger.